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Showing Up For Yourself? Why Coaches Struggle to Put Themselves Out There

Lisa Garber

Coaches – Are You Showing Up For Yourself?


Did you learn about homeostasis in school? It’s all about how our bodies maintain balance. But what about our emotional and professional lives?

Do we have a sort of “emotional homeostasis” that keeps us below an upper limit of happiness, success, and abundance? That keeps us from really showing up?

As a coach, musician, and former athlete, I’ve grappled with my own upper limits.

Despite having several record contracts, I never made a record. I had a great publishing contract but only achieved minimal success.

In my coaching career, I seldom talked about my years of experience, my master’s in counseling, or the numerous clients I’ve helped.

And I avoided Instagram like the plague. My friend would always get on me for “not showing up.”

Only recently have I started to recognize and address this pattern of self-limitation.


Understanding and Identifying Upper Limits


As coaches, we’re particularly prone to upper limit problems.

Many of us struggle with what to charge, often undercharging and overdelivering.

This stems from a deeper issue – a feeling of unworthiness, a fear of outshining others, or a belief that success may lead to negative consequences like relationship failures or personal downfall.

Recognizing these upper limits is the first step.

Ask yourself:

  • When do I limit my thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors?
  • What’s underneath this pattern? Perhaps you were cautioned against letting success go to your head, or you internalized messages about not being the “smart” or “talented” one in your family.


Strategies for Overcoming Upper Limits


Awareness is key.

Notice when you’re hitting your upper limit and reflect on what’s driving it. Ask yourself:

  1. Is it an old family narrative?
  2. Is it a fear of failure or success?


Once you identify these underlying beliefs, work through them.

Writing in a journal or practicing forgiveness are both powerful tools.

As a psychotherapist and coach, I’ve learned that underlying issues often drive our surface problems. For instance, not starting a coaching business despite having the qualifications might be rooted in deeper fears or beliefs.

Address these issues to move beyond your upper limits and embrace the success you’re capable of.


Embrace the Change You Wish To See In the World


Our journey through understanding and overcoming upper limits is not just about personal gains; it’s about embodying the change we wish to see in the world.


As coaches, when we push past our own boundaries, we set a powerful example for others. We demonstrate that growth and change are possible, inspiring those we mentor to explore their own potential.


Let’s commit to this process not just as a self-improvement project, but as a way to uplift and empower others. Every step we take beyond our own self-imposed limits helps us become more effective guides and mentors. It’s about making a real difference – in our lives and in the lives of those we touch.

As we conclude, remember that recognizing and pushing past our upper limits  is really about showing up. It’s a journey of continuous learning and growth. It’s about making small, consistent changes that add up to significant transformations.

It’s a never ending lesson I guess. I really try to show up fully more and more and not let those underlying beliefs run my life.

There’s nothing more exciting to me than the idea of living fully, embracing my potential and helping others to do the same.

Let’s embark on this journey together, breaking through barriers and embracing the full extent of our capabilities.


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