Can you hold a vision of someone as successful, no matter what they are presenting?
In my early days as a psychotherapist, we learned about something called “presenting problems.”
These are the issues someone comes to you for help with.
For example, in those early days I met with a lot of people who felt lost in their lives.
So, “lost in life” is a presenting problem.
As a coach, a presenting problem might be a new coach trying to find the courage and confidence to get their business going.
Hence, “fear and low confidence” would be the presenting problem.
My job, and I believe it’s the job of every healer, is to see right past those problems.
I set my focus on who that person is without that presenting problem, the person behind the fear, or beyond the confusion.
I focus on holding a vision of that person as utterly successful, whole and hugely resourceful.
And yes, we work on the problem.
But in all cases, we are working to transcend the problem, to connect with the part of them who is much greater than the problem.
We are coaching the person, not the problem.
And that’s because there are always problems.
For example, once you get the courage to start your business, then you crumble under the overwhelm of how to get a client.
Or once you find inspiration and clarity on a direction for your life, you have to deal with the shake-up your new choices bring to those around you.
Yes. Problems are indeed part of this world.
Because of that, my real job, the secret ingredient of coaching is all about helping my client to see themselves as someone who isn’t troubled by problems but is someone able to solve them and move on.
I want them to see this vision that I see of them, as resourceful, successful and whole.
How do I do that you ask?
I don’t get caught in their story.
Oh, the story is so juicy. It’s the pain, the suffering, the drama. Yum Yum!
It can grab you and draw you in and get you all engaged. It’s like a great movie! It’s like a massive vat of melted sticky toffee!
But guess what?
That just doesn’t help anybody.
And by the way, we do that with our own stories too, don’t we?
We get so caught in our own story that we actually start to enjoy it a bit?
I mean not laugh out loud enjoy it, but kind of get a little attached to it enjoy!
There is pleasure in drama and negativity and complaining.
You’ve heard of a “runner’s high?” Well, call this “complainer’s high.” Hah!
But I digress.
As coaches, we cannot get caught in people’s stories, no matter how dramatic or intense.
We have to transcend their stories.
And we do that by not getting caught in their energy when we are listening.
We have to let their energy pass right on through us.
Still, we must keep our hearts open.
And remind ourselves that this person is not their problems.
That this person is a shining light of success and joy.
Our questions move them into their own light, all the time.
We do not go down the rabbit hole of negativity.
Move toward the light.
That’s my coaching mantra.
And hey, you can do that too if you want. You can do that with your friends, family, and colleagues as well as your clients.
Can you do it for yourself?
Well…yes and no.
Yes, with the use of affirmations that remind you of the truth of your being.
Here’s a gorgeous one for health:
Divine Love floods my consciousness with health, and every cell in my body is filled with light.
I am a spiritual being-my body is perfect, made in (His) Spirit’s likeness and image.
The light now streams through every cell.
I give thanks for my radiant health. – Florence Scovel Shinn
But honestly, I think everyone needs help sometimes in life. Finding that someone who can hold that vision of you as successful, is really important.
Do you have someone?
Either way, start holding the vision of those around you as successful.
You might think of them as spiritual beings. You just can’t get caught in their story and start believing that.
Find something else to believe in, like their spirit. That’s it…Believe in their spirit.
I believe in your spirit. I see you as successful souls in all ways.
I hope you can feel that.
Lisa ❤️
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