3 Powerful Ways to Shift from Victim Mentality to a Creator Mindset
Introduction: Recognize and Overcome Victim Mentality
I have a confession. I can get really angry when I’m driving. Just today, I laid on the horn and shook my fist at someone trying to pull in front of me. There was a very long line that I’d been sitting in, and I was late for CrossFit.
Yup. I didn’t let her in. I honked my horn as she pushed her much bigger car in front of me and I yelled.
Then I wondered, “Why am I so angry?”
It wasn’t until I started writing this blog that I realized…I was feeling powerless and like a victim. And being angry felt better than that, even powerful and fierce in fact.
I honestly didn’t realize I was putting myself in the victim mentality while driving in crazy crazy crazy Toronto traffic.
Which brings me to my first point in this blog. Before we can make the shift to a creator mindset, it’s important to recognize when we’re in a victim mentality. It can be sneaky. Here’s what can help.
In the victim mentality, it feels like life happens to us rather than for us.
This can lead to frustration, feeling powerless, or blaming external circumstances for our setbacks. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.
By shifting to a creator mindset, we regain control and see ourselves as the architects of our lives. Here’s how to spot the difference:
- Signs of Victim Mentality: You might find yourself thinking, “Things never go my way,” or feeling stuck without options. Or getting really angry in situations where you don’t have any control. Like me!
- Signs of a Creator Mindset: A creator mindset sounds more like, “What can I do to make the most of this?” or “How can I adapt to move forward?” or “It’s only a CrossFit class!”
If you’re a coach or use coaching in your relationships at home or work, spotting these mindsets in others can help guide them from feeling stuck to feeling empowered. Here are three powerful ways to make this shift for yourself or when helping others:
1. Shift Your Perspective: Reframe Challenges to Focus on Solution
Overcoming the Victim Mindset begins with shifting our perspective. Reframing challenges can help us move from feeling defeated to finding solutions. In a victim mentality, problems feel like dead ends; in a creator mindset, they become opportunities for growth.
- Daily Life Example: If a project or plan doesn’t work out, you might feel overwhelmed and think, “This always happens to me.” But in a creator mindset, you might reframe it: “What can I learn from this? How can I use this experience to improve next time?” or…maybe I can put on some enlightening music or podcasts while I’m driving to help me enjoy my time in traffic!!!
- For Coaches: When a client feels stuck, help them reframe by focusing on the lessons or insights they’re gaining. For example, if they’re struggling to attract clients, guide them to see it as a chance to refine their message or try a new approach or get more grounded in their purpose, they “why” they do what they’re doing in the first place.
Takeaway: By shifting focus to solutions, we reclaim control and build resilience. Reframing empowers us to look at challenges as learning opportunities rather than roadblocks.
2. Small Decisions, Big Impact: Embrace Intentional Choices Every Day
One of the best ways to break free from a victim mentality is to make small, intentional decisions that move us closer to our goals. Empowered choices aren’t always huge, life-changing actions; often, it’s the small, consistent steps that create lasting change.
- Daily Life Example: Imagine you want to start a healthier routine, but it feels overwhelming. Instead of waiting for the “perfect” time, make a small choice—like starting with a 10-minute walk each day. This small decision can create momentum without adding pressure.
- For Coaches: If a client feels they lack progress, encourage them to make small, achievable commitments. For instance, they might dedicate 15 minutes daily to connect with potential clients or focus on personal growth. These small steps reinforce their role as a creator of their success.
Takeaway: Small, powerful choices give us a sense of control and direction. Each intentional decision builds confidence and keeps us moving forward, one step at a time.
3. Take Responsibility and Ownership: Empowerment Through Accountability
A creator mindset is built on accountability. Taking ownership of our actions and outcomes doesn’t mean blaming ourselves but recognizing our power to influence and adapt. This shift in responsibility is crucial to transforming a victim mentality into one of empowerment.
- Daily Life Example: If a plan falls through, you might feel like blaming circumstances or others. Instead, you could ask, “What can I learn from this? How can I prepare differently next time?” Owning your role allows you to grow from the experience rather than feel defeated by it. One relationship coach I know asks each partner to take 100% responsibility in the problem and the solution. Can you see how that takes them out of the victim mentality?
- For Coaches: When a client struggles with a lack of progress, help them see their own role in the journey. Encouraging them to take responsibility for their actions and decisions empowers them to become more proactive and resilient in reaching their goals.
Takeaway: Ownership is a foundational piece of a creator mindset. When we take responsibility, we recognize our ability to make a difference, adapt, and find solutions, reinforcing our confidence and sense of empowerment.
Conclusion: Moving Forward with a Creator Mindset
Shifting from victim mentality to a creator mindset isn’t about ignoring challenges but about choosing how we respond to them. With each decision to reframe, make small choices, and take responsibility, we reinforce our ability to create a life of empowerment and resilience.
All this means, tomorrow morning, I will leave earlier for my CrossFit class so I don’t have to feel pressured. I will dial something up to listen to in the car that is uplifting and interesting. I will shift my perspective enough to realize the traffic situation is out of my control so no reason to fight against it. And I’ll remember that in the scheme of things, being late for a class doesn’t really mean anything. It really doesn’t make any difference at all.
Take care and see you soon,
Hope that helps. ❤️ Lisa
If you’ve been struggling with your Discovery Calls, I can help. Download my Free Masterclass, “Convert with Confidence: Discovery Calls Made Easy for Coaches.” I share my step-by-step method that has helped me build my practice for years. You can Download it HERE
